Showing posts with label dark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dark. Show all posts

Being thankful for thorns

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

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While I've been writing about death, rebirth, healing and all sorts of depressing and nerve hitting things in working on my NaNoWriMo project, I've been subjected to a huge amount of synchronistic events. It seems I'm on the right path because everyone I meet and the emails I've gotten have been based on these things, pushing me to delve further into it.

Today I received an email from emPOWER Magazine (www.empoweronline.com.au) and the subject was "Thankful for Thorns". The story in this email touched my heart and I thought it important to include it on this blog because sometimes it can be hard to remember that our darkness is our gift, and the light we create from it is our gift to others. I don't have the original credit for this so I apologise in advance:


I found this great story that I wanted to share. It's a little long but well worth the read...

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.

Thanksgiving? Thankful for what? She wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an air bag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, may I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her. "I....I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a favorite I call the Thanksgiving "Special?" asked the shop clerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?" "Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong." Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi, Barbara...let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses; Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped: there were no flowers. "Want this in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh....she just left with no flowers!" "Right, said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet." "Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra. Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery. That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk, "and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort.

Sandra sucked in her breath, "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God. I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life," Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too...fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious". Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out. "I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute." "Thank you. What do I owe you?" Sarah asked. "Nothing; nothing but a promise to allow your heart to heal and to be grateful for the thorns."


 And now, back to my novel... xx

Day 4: Back on track

Thursday, November 4, 2010

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After missing out on 100 words from my goal daily word count yesterday, I've gotten over 1750 words this time. It was a little harder getting into the mood to type tonight, mainly because I've been working on a recording for almost 9 straight hours. It's really not fair to be writing AND working. Why can't writing BE my work? Ay, I can dream.

I have a couple of new characters popping up: one is from one of my planned stories that I haven't yet started, and the other is based on a story I started two years ago. It's nice writing some familiar personalities and having them guest star.

Apart from that, the novel's shaping up to be a very complex and interesting web of mystical phenomena and romance, mixed in with some tragedy and hopefully some enlightening bits. It's definitely not the same as what I thought I was starting with ~ it's taken a dark turn somewhere there. I find that while I'm at work I'm wishing that I was at home writing. Or while I'm on the train heading to work, that I was at home writing. Is this what happens when you get addicted to writing?

Today I also realised that finishing this novel isn't just about finally finishing what I start. It's about developing my self confidence, my willpower, my strength and courage. It is about releasing the pent up creativity that has been stunted by my own mind, believing that I "never finish what I start". In finishing this novel, I can prove to myself and other naysayers that I can do whatever the bloody hell I put my mind to. And that is worth writing 1667 words a day for, even if I have to stay up past my bedtime.