Day 8: Rebirth and Fear

Having some trouble uploading the word count for today (1722 words) on the NaNoWriMo website, thanks to maintenance. Oh well, I'll try later on.

Today's writing expanded on the idea of death and has taken on board the importance of rebirth. Rebirth is messy. It's not something that happens beautifully. The end result may be beautiful and something that we can love and enjoy in our lives, but the actual rebirthing... well... think  about being in labour and it's probably something like that. There is blood, there's shit, there's a whole lot of crying and pain. And then you hear the life you created inside you coming out, crying and seeing the world for the first time. And you see them for the first time. And suddenly things change. In that one moment, things completely change.

Rebirth involves us to let go, absolutely let go, of our old skins which is something that not many people are ready to do. I know for a fact that I have a lot to let go, and it's probably why it's coming up in my writing. But it also requires us to take a new form. The form is something that has always been inside us, waiting to be released into the world. Once we come into the world in this form, we can truly be our authentic selves.

But of course there is the fear of leaving all that behind. In my experience that fear has stopped me from seeing the magic in front of me. It has stopped me from properly rebirthing into who I want to be. We all fear the pain that risking our old lives can bring. We want it to be easy and painless. The problem is that if we do have it easy and painless, we do not truly strip our skins. We do not truly end one cycle.

My characters are going through a pretty intense process at the moment, seeing their true forms, understanding their abilities and completely unsure about how to move forward. Both protagonists seem to be floating on the wind rather than being grounded and secure, but this is important. Until they let go of their old world truths, they will never set foot on this new ground they must connect with. I feel sorry for putting them through it, but it's necessary.

Day 4: Back on track

After missing out on 100 words from my goal daily word count yesterday, I've gotten over 1750 words this time. It was a little harder getting into the mood to type tonight, mainly because I've been working on a recording for almost 9 straight hours. It's really not fair to be writing AND working. Why can't writing BE my work? Ay, I can dream.

I have a couple of new characters popping up: one is from one of my planned stories that I haven't yet started, and the other is based on a story I started two years ago. It's nice writing some familiar personalities and having them guest star.

Apart from that, the novel's shaping up to be a very complex and interesting web of mystical phenomena and romance, mixed in with some tragedy and hopefully some enlightening bits. It's definitely not the same as what I thought I was starting with ~ it's taken a dark turn somewhere there. I find that while I'm at work I'm wishing that I was at home writing. Or while I'm on the train heading to work, that I was at home writing. Is this what happens when you get addicted to writing?

Today I also realised that finishing this novel isn't just about finally finishing what I start. It's about developing my self confidence, my willpower, my strength and courage. It is about releasing the pent up creativity that has been stunted by my own mind, believing that I "never finish what I start". In finishing this novel, I can prove to myself and other naysayers that I can do whatever the bloody hell I put my mind to. And that is worth writing 1667 words a day for, even if I have to stay up past my bedtime.

Day 1: Made it a little past the mark

So I got to 1716 words. Not a bad start. Took me all of 2 hrs but that also includes South Park and Sex & The City time... imagine when I have no distraction.

My novel has started off as a tale about dreams and nightmares. I really want to make it an artistic piece of writing, something that is written in the vein of the subject and not just ABOUT the subject. I've given it the working title of Dreamwalker, which is a person who consciously connects into and can work in other people's dreams. Similar to the concept of the movie Inception, which I haven't seen yet but I have heard great things about. I'm planning on taking a different route to Christopher Nolan's interpretation of the dreamwalker, but it might be nice to rent it out when I finish Nanowrimo as a "YAY I've finished" gift to me :)

The hardest thing about today has been to switch off from the world. I love checking my Facebook and having the TV on in the background - I find it soothing and yet so distracting as well. But once I got my tea sorted, it was like being on moderately easy street.

The other hard thing is switching off from re-reading what I've written. When I re-read, I tend to edit, and this stops me usually from finishing anything I start. Hopefully it's one of those habits that stops once you admit it to yourself. 

Tomorrow I have the day off, so I'll probably be able to get quite a lot of writing done. Chances are that soon I will feel the urge to do a prelim edit, so I need to figure out what I can do to curb that craving. Maybe a nice walk down near the river. Or chocolate. I definitely will need to figure something out.

Nanowrimo starts today

It has been an entire year since I set upon my keyboard for what could be the most thrilling, crazy and difficult month in my life. I am talking about Nanowrimo, a writing competition where the only prize is the satisfaction gained from having gotten a 50,000 word novel written in a speedy 30 days.

In 2009, I dropped out pretty early on. I lost interest in my characters and in the plot, and it didn't help that for at least one of the weeks in November I was involved in a big conference at work.

But this year it's different. I can feel it in my bones. I am writing now in the Autumn months from the Lake District in the UK, a far cry from the Australian springtime. There is more reason to sit indoors and enjoy the light tap-tap-tapping that rises from my fingers hitting the keyboard. It seems it's all going according to plan... muahahahaha.

So when I get home tonight, I'm going to have my dinner, make a nice cup of tea, and write 1667 words (if I do this every day, I will get to 50,010 by the end of 30 days). If I write more ~ woohoo bonus! I have an idea of what the novel will be about, but I'm letting it surprise me. I figure if it's a rough draft, it's probably better that way :)

I'll be posting some bits of the novel and research as I go as well. 


Keep smiling!!